Date Excuses
Hopefully you%26#039;ve never had these used on you, but this is a list of excuses to use if that %26quot;special%26quot; someone asks you out and you don%26#039;t know how to say no. If someone gives you one of these excuses, it is very likely that they have absolutely no interest in going out with you.
1. I have to floss my cat.
2. I%26#039;ve dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
4. The President said he might drop in.
5. The man on television told me to say tuned.
6. I%26#039;ve been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7. I%26#039;m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. It%26#039;s my parakeet%26#039;s bowling night.
9. It wouldn%26#039;t be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I%26#039;m building a pig from a kit.
11. I did my own thing and now I%26#039;ve got to undo it.
12. I%26#039;m enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13. There%26#039;s a disturbance in the Force.
14. I%26#039;m doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15. I have to go to the post office to see if I%26#039;m still wanted.
16. I%26#039;m teaching my ferret to yodel.
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
18. I%26#039;m going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
19. I%26#039;m planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20. My crayons all melted together.
21. I%26#039;m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
22. I%26#039;m in training to be a household pest.
23. I%26#039;m getting my overalls overhauled.
24. My patent is pending.
25. I%26#039;m attending the opening of my garage door.
26. I%26#039;m sandblasting my oven.
27. I%26#039;m worried about my vertical hold.
28. I%26#039;m going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
29. I%26#039;m being deported.
30. The grunion are running.
31. I%26#039;ll be looking for a parking space.
32. My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33. The monsters haven%26#039;t turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34. I%26#039;m taking punk totem pole carving.
35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
36. I%26#039;m converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37. I%26#039;ve come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39. My plot to take over the world is thickening.
40. I have to fulfill my potential.
41. I don%26#039;t want to leave my comfort zone.
42. It%26#039;s too close to the turn of the century.
43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
44. My subconscious says no.
45. I%26#039;m giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46. I left my body in my other clothes.
47. The last time I went out, I never came back.
48. I%26#039;ve got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
49. I have to answer all of my %26quot;occupant%26quot; letters.
50. None of my socks match.
51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
52. I%26#039;m having all my plants neutered.
53. People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can%26#039;t get out.
55. I%26#039;m making a home movie called %26quot;The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator.%26quot;
56. I%26#039;m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
57. My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58. I%26#039;m touring China with a wok band.
59. My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
60. I never go out on days that end in %26quot;Y.%26quot;
61. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62. I%26#039;m running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
63. I just picked up a book called %26quot;Glue in Many Lands%26quot; and I can%26#039;t put it down.
64. I%26#039;m too old/young for that stuff.
65. I have to ash/condition/perm/curl/tease my hair.
66. I have too much guilt.
67. There are important world issues that need worrying about.
68. I have to draw %26quot;Cubby%26quot; for an art scholarship.
69. I%26#039;m uncomfortable when I%26#039;m alone or with others.
70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
71. I feel a song coming on.
72. I%26#039;m trying to be less popular.
73. My bathroom tiles need grouting.
74. I have to bleach my hare.
75. I%26#039;m waiting to see if I%26#039;m already a winner.
76. I%26#039;m writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77. You know how we psychos are.
78. My favorite commercial is on TV.
79. I have to study for a blood test.
80. I%26#039;m going to be old someday.
81. I%26#039;ve been traded to Cincinnati.
82. I%26#039;m observing National Apathy Week.
83. I have to rotate my crops.
84. My uncle escaped again.
85. I%26#039;m up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
87. I%26#039;m having my baby shoes bronzed.
88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
89. I%26#039;m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
91. Having fun gives me prickly heat.
92. I%26#039;m going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
93. I have to jog my memory.
94. My palm reader advised against it.
95. My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97. I prefer to remain an enigma.
98. I think you want the OTHER [your name].
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100. I%26#039;m trying to cut down.
101. My asthma is acting up again
102. That would interfere with my time to wait for the government to take me away.
103. You%26#039;re ugly, I%26#039;m busy, have a nice day
104. Its my goldfish%26#039;s birthday
105. Uh, I have stuff to do.
106. I have to make an air sandwich
107. I have to hide the bodies.
108. I don%26#039;t have time to go on a date...with YOU!
109. I have to wash my hair.
110. I have to clean my toilet
111. I need to spend quality time with my weed wacker
112. I need to clean the air in my room
113. My hamster is having a heart transplant and I need to stay for moral support.
114. I caught a rare deadly African disease that%26#039;s highly contagious.
115. My gerbil is getting married.
116. I have plans to clean the cracks in my floor
117. Sorry, when you came to my door I mistook you for a mormon and took cover.
118. I had to rob your house
119. That%26#039;s the night I reorganize my rock collection.
120. Pinnochio is on tonight
121. I have to try out for the ice skating team at school.
122. I don%26#039;t date outside my species
123. Sorry I think I%26#039;m gay
124. I have to go...........over..............there.
125. My butt is to big in this dress
126. I have to take out the trash
127. My dog had baby kittens.
128. I can%26#039;t, I need to take my computer apart and put it back together.
129. I have to go shopping for my mother.
130. I%26#039;m sorry, I have to rotate the strings on all of my shoes.
131. No
132. I told my car I would tenderly rub wax into it%26#039;s body
133. I have to go for my full body wax appointment
134. I can%26#039;t I was asked to go to another party w/o you
135. I don%26#039;t date goats!
136. Ally Mcbeal is on
137. I%26#039;m reading with my widower
138. I have to brush my teeth.
139. Alf comes on soon
140. I%26#039;m sick.
141. I%26#039;ve had a better offer, some bloke is coming round to set fire to my head
142. I%26#039;m busy cleaning the blood off my axe
143. My dad said I can%26#039;t date till I am married
144. I%26#039;m shaving my dog.
145. It%26#039;s against my religion to date people named (insert relevant name)
146. My grandma is on fire.
147. I%26#039;m getting married tonight.
148. I%26#039;m engaged.
149. I don%26#039;t want to ruin our friendship.
150. I have family in town.
151. I just washed my hair.
152. It%26#039;s that time of the month again.
153. My father%26#039;s grandmother%26#039;s aunt%26#039;s mother died.
154. I have to take down the Christmas lights.
155. I have to go to a surprise party for my grandma%26#039;s birthday.
156. I left my tolerance in another coat.
157. I just got back together with my ex
158. I don%26#039;t like people.
159. I have to alphabetize my CDs. (Hey, is that supposed to be insulting to me? -- dan)
160. I might see someone who knows me.
161. My brother%26#039;s sister%26#039;s mum%26#039;s son%26#039;s dad died.
162. I would, but it would be a complete waste of make-up.
163. My pet snake is constipated again.
164. I have a phobia of people named (insert name here).
165. I have to teach my pig to sing.
166. I just got sick (right after you asked me out).
167. My dog is too tired.
168. I never said I%26#039;d go out with you, that was my evil twin.
169. I would go out with you but my waiting list is full.
170. There%26#039;s a four hour TV special on trimming shrubbery.
171. I%26#039;m washing the sofa.
172. I have to milk my cow.
173. Everquest.
174. I don%26#039;t want to miss Martha Stewart%26#039;s premiere.
175. I have to teach my frog how to croak.
176. I%26#039;m too busy watching the paint dry.
177. The %26quot;Rocky%26quot; marathon is on that night.
178. I promised my mum I%26#039;d bathe the hamster.
179. I tripped over an ant and broke my leg.
180. I need to clip my nose hairs.
181. I have to read the labels on all of my food.
182. You are extremely unattractive. Sorry, someone had to tell you.
183. I%26#039;m gay.
184. I don%26#039;t like you.
185. My goat broke a horn.
186. I have to go to the dentist.
187. I have to brush my dog%26#039;s teeth.
188. I must go in search of my charms which were stolen by an angry leprechaun.
189. I%26#039;m going to the moon.
190. My water wings are flat.
191. I have to stay home and give my goldfish a bath.
192. I%26#039;m going to be playing with my mental blocks.
193. I have to wax the driveway.
194. I%26#039;m not into dating right now.
195. I%26#039;m teaching my goldfish how to play the electric guitar.
196. I%26#039;m teaching my dog to meow.
197. I have to watch Oprah.
198. I like you, but my friends said I can%26#039;t go out with you.
199. I like your best friend.
200. I%26#039;m complicated to go out with.
201. I just found out we%26#039;re related.
202. On my list of things to do, seeing you is at the bottom.
Another funny list.?
ok i like didnt read none of them
Reply:lol! you must have some wild (not) dating experience!
have a star!!
Reply:thts a BIG list
Reply:ROFL %26quot;I want to spend time with my blender. And 183.%26quot; I liked it. It was a very thorough list. Now what%26#039;s your question? :p
Reply:200!!!i cant read all of those but i read the first 50 and they desirve a star
Reply:his is an extremely......... long list.
Reply:Woah, long list. Star for the work. Even though you may have just copy+paste.
Reply:I have actually heard them all. Here are a few more for your list. My Grandmother just died. I%26#039;m really depressed. I%26#039;m busy and don%26#039;t have time to date. I already have several boyfriends and don%26#039;t want to add any more. This one was used on me in grade school %26quot;I%26#039;m not into dancing, I don%26#039;t even want to go to the school dance.%26quot; There is nothing more important the first time you meet someone than that instant physical attraction, so goodbye. I have a friend coming into town that day. I%26#039;m moving. I%26#039;m not into dating anyone younger than myself. I just don%26#039;t think it%26#039;s going to workout. I don%26#039;t date coworkers. You are really such a sweet and nice person. I see you only as a friend. I just got out of a relationship. I just met someone. I have to work a triple shift at the diner every night this week. I know there%26#039;s more that I%26#039;ve heard over the years besides whats on your list and what I just wrote, but I can%26#039;t think of them right now.-thought of a few more. I have to do laundry that day. I just have nothing to wear. I can%26#039;t because I have to go wash my hair. I just remembered I have plans to do something with my roommate. I%26#039;m hanging out with my friends that day. I can%26#039;t commit to plans for next weekend and anything sooner is way to last minute for me. Very busy I have so many other things going on in my life.
Reply:FTW!!! =DD
Reply:DANG good 1s i will use that on my girlfriend...hope she doesnt use y/a
Reply:lol i read almost all of them and i cracked up
Reply:wow..this is great!
must%26#039;ve taken a lot of work.
star for you! =]
Reply:Good list! I think I am going to try some of those lines the next time I need an excuse to get out of a date.
Reply:Even my Dad thought some were funny, congratulations!! star for you!! :P
Reply:gave u a star nice and funny :D
visual arts
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